At 16 weeks

I was 14 weeks about two thursdays ago. Doctor couldn't find the heartbeat but said everything is ok.
This week I'll be 16 weeks so I'll be going again soon. My weight at 14 weeks was 153.
I gained 2.5 lbs in 4 weeks. Not bad I guess.

I finally found a daycare for my daughter Amelia. I hope she likes it. She starts tomorrow.
I don't want to leave her sad.

At least its Halloween and she'll be able to dress up for daycare and have fun at their party.
She'll be a Lady bug and Deija will be a Vampiress.

I'll post pics as soon as I can learn to post them.

Just a note

I was talking to someone at the College I visit twice a month and she was telling me about her daughter's deformity.
She was born without an ear. I can truly relate and finally felt like I can talk to someone that would understand having a baby with a deformity. Anyway, I'm not getting into that now.
I wanted to express that I felt like someone else can relate.

Last Tuesday my MIL had a heart attack. How scary. I was so shocked that someone who seemed so healthy would have that happened to them. I am so afraid for my husband. I don't want him to lose his mother.

Anyway, off topic. At week 10 of my pregnancy I weight 150.5 and I go again this thursday.
I'll be 14 weeks. I wonder how much I'll weight.

What happened to the true meaning of things?

What happened to the true meaning of things? Everyone is so excited about celebrating commercial holidays.
They forget about the true meaning. Christmas is the birth of Christ not a big Mall with things to buy.
Easter is not a day for egg hunting. Even Columbus day is not a day for no mail and no trash collection.


Reason I bring this up is:

I was pregnant with my second daughter and everyone was so excited and looking for reasons for parties.
Forget that getting pregnant was such a challenge. The pregnancy itself was full of events and none were truly exciting.
They were painful and scary. I give birth and people was to come see the baby and bring gifts.
Well the baby goes straight to the Children's Hospital's NICU and everyone forgets to come see her or me.
Everytime something goes sour the reason for partying goes away and no one cares.

Now I'm pregnant again and I think about no one helping me with Amelia.
Her first birthday was such a big deal for a party to everyone. I didn't throw her a party and people didn't even bother to wish her a happy birthday.

People at work know I'm pregnant now. No one has said congrats. But I know once I'm 8 months everyone will look for a reason to throw a party for me. It's not really for me.... It's for them. I heard from a coworker they love parties.
Having a baby is not a reason for other's to throw a party.

I have stretch marks, heavy boobs, headaches, moodiness, tired feet, kids at home I can't be 100% with.

Why is everything a party???? I don't want gifts... I want a gift card to a spa. No bibs and blankets.

At my last job, they threw a pretty big shower for me. Half the people didn't talk to me. They didn't even talk to me during the party.
They just ate and talked....

What happened to true honestly. True happiness.
Everyone looks for a reason to party.

I don't want a party. I want a babysitter on our anniversary.
I want someone to offer to clean my bedroom or kitchen.
I want someone to come over with a box of diapers.
I want someone to ask if they can take my oldest with them for the day.
I want someone to give my child a bath if they are babysitting while I work.

Those are good thoughts from people who care.

If coworkers don't talk to me when i'm not pregnant, don't talk to me then.
If family doesn't care about how my kids are doing, don't ask how my belly is doing.
My belly is just fine. It's me... not me with a belly.
You are not going to care once this baby is out of my belly.

12 weeks

I haven't posted in a while. I'll make this short because I have 5 minutes until I leave work.
I am 12 weeks now. I have told my boss and some people at work have noticed.
I've been up peeing every night. My boobs are hurting like crazy but no morning sickness.
I still get hungry all the time. I felt something in my stomach the last week or so. I know its not fetal movement.
I am not that far off. Baby would be about 2 inches long. I'm thinking gas but it doesn't feel like gas.

I discovered that I get gestational diabetes. That is why I swell up and don't pass glocuse sugar tests.
I'll look more into it and speak to the doctor about preventions.
I've been trying to make better eating choices. Except for pizza of course. I guess that's in the bread and dairy group.

Okay, I have to go... I'll right some more tomorrow.