22wks5days

I had my OB appointment last thursday and I lost 1/2 lb. I should be gaining weight and I'm actually losing. I don't mind because I know the baby is growing and I'm eating. Although my husband thinks I'm not eating enough. I guess I was just meal contious before the pregnancy and now I still think about it behind my mind. I do eat cookies and candy once in a while.
I just don't eat breakfast but I have a big lunch and then a medium sized dinner.
Physically I've been so tired. I've been having contractions here and there but nothing major. I told my OB and he said if its more than 5 in one hour to call immediately.
This weekend I went christmas shopping for what's missing. I think I over did it with the talking and moving around. Sunday I went to the mall later in the day to buy some stuff and ended up with a terrible pain. It was contractions but out of control. The baby must have been in a weird position because I can feel a lump in my belly button. He must have been stretching out a leg and tried getting it out through there...lol
I stopped and told my husband to rush and get the car. I drove home and took a warm shower and drank cold water and laid on my left side. I was so tired I fell asleep right away. The pain wasn't there in the morning.
Yesterday I walked during lunch to get food and come back and I just couldn't do it. Walking is just too much. The skin on my stomach is being pulled really hard and my belly is so hard and I keep getting the pains.
Same today. I think I'm ready for bedrest. I didn't want to go this early but my body is just giving up.
I know it sounds so strange because I'm only 22 weeks but I don't tolerate pregnancies well and my uterus must be really week.
I went on bedrest at 28 weeks with Amelia.
I'm okay, just sitting here at work and working but walking to the bathroom is just hard.
OB said he's not worried because the baby is growing alot. He's actually really big and my belly is huge. The weight of the belly is what I think is making me hurt so bad.

It's a boy!!!

I haven't posted in a little while. I'm 20 weeks now. I just found out we are having a boy.
We are so pleased. I came back to work and I wish I would have just stayed home.
I got a cervical ultrasound after the regular one and now I feel a little irritated.

At 18 weeks I was 158lbs. I gained almost 5lbs since week 14.
That is alot.

My birthday just passed this friday and I got a surprised party from my side of the family.
It was really nice. I got an Ipod too. It's been a while since I got something for myself. Well it was a gift
from my husband. I meant it's been a while since something was actually for me.

The baby actually weights 13 ounces.
Everything else looked great. They couldn't see if the baby would have any problem in the rectal area.
I really hope and pray it doesn't.

Well I started christmas shopping. I got 4 kids out of the way.
I did some decorating. It's been so cold out. 30 something degrees.
Too cold for anything. I just realized I leave in 15 or so minutes. Yipee!!!

At 16 weeks

I was 14 weeks about two thursdays ago. Doctor couldn't find the heartbeat but said everything is ok.
This week I'll be 16 weeks so I'll be going again soon. My weight at 14 weeks was 153.
I gained 2.5 lbs in 4 weeks. Not bad I guess.

I finally found a daycare for my daughter Amelia. I hope she likes it. She starts tomorrow.
I don't want to leave her sad.

At least its Halloween and she'll be able to dress up for daycare and have fun at their party.
She'll be a Lady bug and Deija will be a Vampiress.

I'll post pics as soon as I can learn to post them.

Just a note

I was talking to someone at the College I visit twice a month and she was telling me about her daughter's deformity.
She was born without an ear. I can truly relate and finally felt like I can talk to someone that would understand having a baby with a deformity. Anyway, I'm not getting into that now.
I wanted to express that I felt like someone else can relate.

Last Tuesday my MIL had a heart attack. How scary. I was so shocked that someone who seemed so healthy would have that happened to them. I am so afraid for my husband. I don't want him to lose his mother.

Anyway, off topic. At week 10 of my pregnancy I weight 150.5 and I go again this thursday.
I'll be 14 weeks. I wonder how much I'll weight.

What happened to the true meaning of things?

What happened to the true meaning of things? Everyone is so excited about celebrating commercial holidays.
They forget about the true meaning. Christmas is the birth of Christ not a big Mall with things to buy.
Easter is not a day for egg hunting. Even Columbus day is not a day for no mail and no trash collection.


Reason I bring this up is:

I was pregnant with my second daughter and everyone was so excited and looking for reasons for parties.
Forget that getting pregnant was such a challenge. The pregnancy itself was full of events and none were truly exciting.
They were painful and scary. I give birth and people was to come see the baby and bring gifts.
Well the baby goes straight to the Children's Hospital's NICU and everyone forgets to come see her or me.
Everytime something goes sour the reason for partying goes away and no one cares.

Now I'm pregnant again and I think about no one helping me with Amelia.
Her first birthday was such a big deal for a party to everyone. I didn't throw her a party and people didn't even bother to wish her a happy birthday.

People at work know I'm pregnant now. No one has said congrats. But I know once I'm 8 months everyone will look for a reason to throw a party for me. It's not really for me.... It's for them. I heard from a coworker they love parties.
Having a baby is not a reason for other's to throw a party.

I have stretch marks, heavy boobs, headaches, moodiness, tired feet, kids at home I can't be 100% with.

Why is everything a party???? I don't want gifts... I want a gift card to a spa. No bibs and blankets.

At my last job, they threw a pretty big shower for me. Half the people didn't talk to me. They didn't even talk to me during the party.
They just ate and talked....

What happened to true honestly. True happiness.
Everyone looks for a reason to party.

I don't want a party. I want a babysitter on our anniversary.
I want someone to offer to clean my bedroom or kitchen.
I want someone to come over with a box of diapers.
I want someone to ask if they can take my oldest with them for the day.
I want someone to give my child a bath if they are babysitting while I work.

Those are good thoughts from people who care.

If coworkers don't talk to me when i'm not pregnant, don't talk to me then.
If family doesn't care about how my kids are doing, don't ask how my belly is doing.
My belly is just fine. It's me... not me with a belly.
You are not going to care once this baby is out of my belly.

12 weeks

I haven't posted in a while. I'll make this short because I have 5 minutes until I leave work.
I am 12 weeks now. I have told my boss and some people at work have noticed.
I've been up peeing every night. My boobs are hurting like crazy but no morning sickness.
I still get hungry all the time. I felt something in my stomach the last week or so. I know its not fetal movement.
I am not that far off. Baby would be about 2 inches long. I'm thinking gas but it doesn't feel like gas.

I discovered that I get gestational diabetes. That is why I swell up and don't pass glocuse sugar tests.
I'll look more into it and speak to the doctor about preventions.
I've been trying to make better eating choices. Except for pizza of course. I guess that's in the bread and dairy group.

Okay, I have to go... I'll right some more tomorrow.

Neutral

Everything is calm now. That is where I want it to be.
I will be 9 weeks tomorrow. I can't believe it. I barely fit in my pants. Time for maternity clothes.
at least the pants so I feel more comfortable. I have a terrible hunger strike everyday at 10am. So for the last two hours I'm praying for food. lol $2 will buy nothing but junk. I might have two hotdogs. That is filling.

I don't know if I mentioned my husband quit his job on Sept 1st. He started this week at Direct TV. He likes it so far.
I'm happy for him. He was miserable at his old job.

Now all we need is to hit the lottery to pay off bills and go shopping. lol

This pregnancy

I just got in from the doctors. I had an ultrasound, bloodwork, and spoke to the doctor. She said everything looks great. I will be seven weeks tomorrow. The ultrasound shows I am 6 weeks and a half. So I'm where I should be. She asked to see a picture of my daughters. She thought the baby was so cute and the oldest so tall and beautiful. I get ultrasounds for another 2 weeks and I'm discharged to see the OB. They want to make sure I'm out of the woods. I had 3 miscarriages before.
I feel better about the pregnancy now. My husband is more attentive now that I am pregnant. He must think I'm an oven.
I've been eating so much. I hope I don't turn into a cow right away. I will see if I can join some kind of maternity exercise class.
I have to keep healthy this time. Hopefully I'll make it full term for the first time.
I'm usually 5-6 weeks early.

Last night at 11pm someone called me about cleaning services and I was already sleeping. Then this morning I got a call at 6am for the same thing. No one wants to let me sleep.

The news that will changed my life forever...

I just found out I'm pregnant again for the sixth time. I am 5 weeks now.
I had in-vitro with my second daughter after 8 years of infertility and 3 miscarriages.
I wasn't ready for another one. I wanted to forgot about getting pregnant and all the troubles I had during my pregnancy.
I wanted a break. My baby is turning one on saturday and I'm pregnant again. OMG!!!
This was completely spontaneous.

God has a sense of humor....

People can be so ignorant

We had our Annual Company Saftey Luncheon today. They raffle off two prizes. One for 4 days off and $4,000 and the other for 1 day off and $1,000. Pretty good prizes. Well for starters. Someone asked me if I was coming to the Luncheon on their way over there. I said yes and got up and grabbed my bag. By the time I got to the Elevator they press the doors to close. I put my hand in and told them don't go leaving the step child now. Everyone laughed. I'm sure it was a fake laugh. My walk to the restaurant was lonely. Everyone talking to each other and I felt singled out. When we got to the restaurant they were talking to each other and I had no participation in the subjects. When food came around for people to take some and pass the dish, I kept getting skipped right over me to the next person. Each time I had to grab the plate.
The food was really good. When the time for the drawing came one lady kept repeating that I haven't been there a year yet and I shouldn't qualify. I told her thanks for putting so much focus in me. If I win the drawing you'll have to convince all these people that I don't qualify. I didn't win and neither did she. I'm glad. Then on our walk back they were walking so fast and leaving me behind. So I held my head up and just walked behind them. When they stopped I kept going like I was never following them or walking with them.

This is not the first time I get singled out.
They order lunch and never ask if I want to order anything.
They bring birthday cakes and sit in the lunch room and tell me when its all over.
When the receptionist calls out they volunteer me for the most odd times.

It's starting to get me pissed.

She ruins everything

She is terrible!!!!!
My cleaning business started as a suggestion of them finding houses to clean so they can have some extra cash and they can have something to do during their free time. I started them off by cleaning my house. I gave them $200 before I left on vacation. I wanted everything sparkling so when I came back I could redecorate. They didn't even touch my closets and spider webs on the bathroom ceiling. I was still pleased with their work. Well I started posting in the classified for jobs cleaning houses. We got a huge response. They were cleaning two houses daily for 6 days a week. My aunt told me I could turn this into a business. I told her I thought about it. So I started investing time and money into this business. All of a sudden my mom starts getting angry and saying that its too much work. I'm charging too little. People are pigs. blah blah. The next day she loves her job. The following day she can't make it... doctors appt. It went on that was for two months. I was starting to get tired of her. One day she just decided not to do a job with me. She wouldn't answer her phones and decided not to talk to me all week. Then she calls at the end of the week asking me what was a client's complaint. I told her and she said she did to the job...blah blah.
The next day she decided to quit. She called my aunt about 10 minutes before starting a new job and told her she is not working anymore. She told her because I had told her that I was paying her $8 an hour instead of keeping half the money. I NEVER told her that. What a freaking liar.
So I called her and she wouldn't answer.
She finally answered and she said that I am doing this business thing for my own benefit. Instead of doing it to find her work.
I asked her why she doesn't want me to prosper and make this into something good. I could make this into a huge company and she won't even need to work a day in her life. I told her she is very ungrateful. I am paying for advertising, cleaning products, vaccums. She sees it like I'm not doing anything.

I told her that all my problems are because of her. She just wants and wants and never gives and just hurts my feelings for no reason at all.

Now I'm stuck without her. Only my aunt is cleaning. My aunt is going to Puerto Rico this week for two weeks to care for my grandparents. I hired two new people but who knews if people will like them.

I'm at the point where this business will just fall apart or I give it a big push into success.

Third day feeling exactly the same...

...this morning I was at 101.8 degrees on fever. My head is killing me. I cancelled Pilates on Wed. I couldn't bare how I felt. I dont want to leave work early because I don't want to get in trouble at work. But I am not even moving. Its sooooo cold in hear. I didn't bring a sweater either.
Tonight I have to go interview with someone about the Cleaning Business. If I leave now I should get enough rest. I know when I get home my husband will drop the baby on me. She'll pull my hair and laugh. My oldest will want to talk and talk. I love them about them but I just dont have the energy today.

My back is still killing me. All my muscles are completely tight. This Sat, Sun, and Mon my ad comes out in the Daily Newspaper and Inquirer. On Tuesday it comes out in the Juniata News. I hope business booms.

Last night

Last night I had a terrible sinus headache followed by 102 fever. I couldn't even blink. I don't know if it was heat related being as though, it was over 100 degrees outside. I can't stand the heat anymore. My husband went out and got me some sudafed. The pressure is gone today but I still have a fever. I'm at work early today because I have a CPR and Adult Heart Saver Course. I didn't want to miss it because it could be useful one day.
My throat and back are hurting too. I wonder what the heck is going on with me. I also have a deadline to complete for next wednesday and I can't seem to concentrate. I'll be working late the next few days. Not tonight because I'm going to Pilates. I'd like to know where I'll find the energy for that.

All I want is to eat...

Why the sudden urges to pig out.... I wish I were eating pasta or pizza or cheese burgers. You would think that I was this obese person but I not. I sometimes watch what I eat. But then sometimes I just want to come home and empty the refridgerator. I'm sure when I get home I'll cook and eat while cooking. I would love to be in Olive Garden eating their bread sticks and salad... or Spagetti Warehouse.... yum yum....

I need to get a hold of myself.